English woman's trip to India

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India.
She was registered to stay in a small guesthouse owned by the local schoolmaster.
She was concerned as to whether the guesthouse contained a WC.
In England , a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "WaterCloset".
She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC.
Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:


Dear Madam, I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house.
It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees,surrounded by lovely grounds.
It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays.
As there are many people expected inthe summer months, I suggest you arrive early.
There is, however,plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.
It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband.
It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat.
It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle.
My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.
You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it.
Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time.
I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday, as there is an organ accompaniment.
The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.
The newest addition is a bell, which rings every time a person enters.
We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed.
I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster


The Woman fainted reading the reply........and she never visited India!!!!

Why Indians are targeted Abroad

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let us begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F**k the Indians.'

'Now,who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'
Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? S**k this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997! '

Now with almost mob hysteria, someone said 'You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson (RIP) to the child witnesses testifying against him - 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And, as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh sh*t, we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th, 2008".(recession)

Just to Make you SMILE

Burger Baby

wiered japanese inventions

humour

South Indian Flim Stunts

Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna onto a chair...Those idiots didnt know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by a simple chair...

Here is our hero's brother...The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach...The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls..hihii..

Balakrishna sees some bullet shells lying on the floor...This means that the baddies had a gun...But they decided to use a time-bomb to give the 'finishing touch'...This is what i call 'Innovative Thinking'...

The shells triggered Balakrishna's brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea...He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells...

Now, lets hv a look at the time-bomb...The timer(presumably a pager covered in plastic) is ticking...See the weird buttons on the bomb??...The red button is the On-Off button!!...Now, this is the world's first time-bomb with such a convenient on-off button...This is what i call a 'User-friendly Time-bomb'...Very easy to handle...Can b used even by infants...

Coming back to our hero, he is struggling to reach the shells...Look at his _expression...Seems like he is desperate to use the toilet!!...

Finally, he manages to reach the shells...He picks up a shell with his mouth as if it is Kappalandi (peanuts)

The viewers have no idea what the hell he is up to...Read on...

He concentrates with the shell between his teeth...Look at the sweat on his face...Gives an impression of how hard he is concentrating...With all his strength, he spits the bullet shell towards the bomb...

Loo and behold!!..The shell flies like a bullet through the air...Credit goes to Balakrishna here...He has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet...He can be a good asset to the Indian army...The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the red button!!...The time-bomb gets switched off!!...Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!!...

Thats it friends...Balakrishna has prooved that he is better than our Olympics Shooting medal winner, R.S.Rathore....He has even shocked Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi who were thought to be pioneers in such things...The latest buzz is that R.S.Rathore, Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi have started training under Balakrishna...Hats off to Balakrishna!!